How much life insurance do you really need when you’re sitting at a wobbly IKEA table in suburban America at 2:17 a.m. with cold coffee and a spreadsheet titled “If I Die Tomorrow.xlsx” staring back at you? That’s where I’m at right now—January 2026—and honestly it feels like I’m failing Insurance Adulting 101.
I used to think the answer was simple: “10× your salary, bro.” Every personal-finance Reddit thread and every boomer uncle screamed it. Then last year my wife sat me down after our second kid arrived and very calmly said, “If you get hit by a bus tomorrow, 10× is cute… but we’re still screwed.” She wasn’t wrong. Cue existential panic.
Why the Classic “10× Salary” Rule Feels Like a Lie to Me
I make roughly $87,000 a year right now (software sales, mostly remote, hate cold-calling but love the commission structure—anyway). 10× = $870,000 death benefit. Sounds big. Feels responsible.
Except:
- Our mortgage is $418,000 remaining
- Student loans still hovering around $62k (mine) + $31k (hers)
- Daycare for two kids under four is somehow $2,800/month
- My wife would probably need to drop to part-time or quit entirely for a couple years
- We have basically zero family money to fall back on
So yeah… $870k suddenly looks more like “covers the house and then we eat ramen forever” money.
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My Current (Very Imperfect) Way of Figuring Out How Much Life Insurance Coverage Actually Makes Sense
Here’s the chaotic back-of-napkin math I did last night while the baby monitor crackled and our ancient heater clicked like it was about to explode.
- Pay off all debts that die with me → mortgage $418k + student loans $93k = ~$511k
- Replace my income until youngest kid graduates high school → 14 years × $65k (I reduced my current take-home because commissions are lumpy and I’m assuming she’d get survivor Social Security benefits) = $910k
- College slush fund (optimistic edition) → $80k total for two kids (yeah I know it’s delusional—state schools only, pray for scholarships)
- Funeral + final expenses buffer → $15–20k (open casket is expensive and I’m vain, sue me)
- Emergency “keep the lights on for 6–12 months” fund → another $60k
Total raw number before taxes and inflation adjustment: ~$1.58–1.65 million.
Then I panicked and added another $200k “therapy + therapy for the kids + random life sucks fund” because trauma is expensive.
So right now I’m targeting $1.8–2 million total coverage.
Mistakes I’ve Already Made (So You Don’t Have To) How Much Life Insurance
- Bought a $500k term policy at 28 because “it was cheap” and never updated it after marriage or kids. Classic idiot move.
- Thought “my company group life = enough.” Spoiler: it’s usually 1–2× salary and ends the second you leave the job.
- Ignored the “convertible term” option early on because I didn’t want to pay $8 more a month. Now I’m older, rates are higher, and I’m mad at 28-year-old me.
Quick Reality Check Questions I Ask Myself Every Six Months How Much Life Insurance
- If I died tonight, how long could my wife stay in this house without selling?
- Would the kids have to change schools / move states / lose friends?
- Could she realistically go back to work full-time within 2 years without completely breaking?
- Are we comfortable with her dipping into retirement accounts early (and paying penalties)?
If the answer to any of those is “uhhh probably not,” I need more coverage.
Where I Actually Buy / Compare (Links That Helped Me) How Much Life Insurance
I’m not getting paid to say this—I just genuinely used these:
- Policygenius → stupidly easy side-by-side quotes from like 15 carriers
- SelectQuote → old-school but their phone reps actually know stuff
- NerdWallet’s life insurance calculator → free, no email gate, surprisingly thoughtful
- LIMRA’s consumer life insurance guide → boring but trustworthy industry stats
Bottom Line (My Current Flawed Opinion)
There is no magic number. “How much life insurance do you really need” depends on your debts, your partner’s earning power, your kids’ ages, your tolerance for risk, and how much guilt you want your spouse to carry if they have to downsize.
For me—right now, middle-class, dual-income, two tiny humans—it’s closer to 20× salary than 10×. Maybe even 22–23× if I’m being brutally honest.
But I’m still underinsured by about $400k according to my own napkin math. So tomorrow I’m calling my broker again and probably crying a little when I see the new premium.
Anyway. That’s my messy, sleep-deprived, slightly embarrassing take.
How much life insurance coverage are you carrying—and does it actually feel like enough? Drop a comment if you want, or just judge me silently. Either way I get it.
Take care of your people. — nybiwo, currently hiding from the calculator
